Job Search Dilemma

A rite of passage that most of us go through is to find a job to earn some extra cash or to bring the dough home. Yet, in the process of finding a job, one is sometimes torn between finding something of interest or one that pays well. This is especially true for students with minimal working experience who are finding jobs during the vacation period. This means that one would either be an intern in a company according to one’s interest or be in charge of menial tasks.

As such, I am no exception to the scheme of things as I recently endured the process of combing through newspapers, asking for recommendations and looking through online job advertisements. Being utterly torn up myself, I decided to look at what my peers have chosen. Understandably, most of them subscribed to the pragmatic route and just accept whatever decent offer that they could get.

While it is a noble enterprise to earn one’s keep and accepting what life offers, there is a deep-seated sense of uneasiness within me as I could not bring myself to do that. To me, it is not just a choice between two logical and commendable paths but one that reflects the outlook to one’s life: Do you choose to accept whatever life throws at you or do you fight for what you desire as long as there is a chance? How many times are we going to opt for a “safe” option and never find out what would happen if you took a chance?

Such questions plagued me endlessly and I decided to take the road less travelled and find a job that caters to my interest. This decision is made not out of rebellion but on the premise that I have no financial obligations except to myself and I am not limited by anything except by my resume and experiences. Therefore, why would I not want to take life by its horns and seek valuable experiences that are in line with my interests? This is especially so in view of the scarcity of such chances once responsibilities to family, friends and career set in.

On the surface, it may seem absurd to extrapolate the issue of work to life’s philosophy but every choice we make will contribute one way or another to who we will eventually be. In this vein, the choices I make now is a stepping stone to carve out a life that I would want for myself in the future. Come what may, I will be proud of my decisions even if my choices meant that I would fail miserably.

Having said that, one should realise that everyone is unique and different. Hence, my choices and outlook is never superior to another but it is best suited to my situation as I have mentioned. By extension, I am not saying that my friends have made a wrong choice but I am espousing the idea of making choices based on what one truly wants. If it means that one is only interested in the monetary value of the job, then go for it.

At the end of the day, life is all about choices and one should not be hampered by the “what ifs” but be encouraged by it to gain a broader experience. In the words of entrepreneur and maverick, Richard Branson, ‘Brave people don’t live forever, but cautious people don’t live at all.’ In case there are people who are interested in knowing what I have settled for, I have filed several applications but to no avail due to various reasons. But I am still trying, still fighting and still living.

Looking Ahead to 2011

As the day slowly winds down and it is slightly over an hour before 2011, I'd thought I look ahead and share some of my hopes for the new year.

2011 will definitely be a year of excitement as I will gain new experiences. The two main things to look forward to would be working for the first time as well as entering university.

With regards to the job prospect, I will most probably be a relief teacher. I am equally excited, anxious as well as apprehensive because it is indeed a very important responsibility; one that may decide what the kids will do in future. I personally do not believe that the end result of one's education is only decided by oneself. That is because as a student, I have been influenced, shaped and moulded by many teachers who have illuminated my life in ways that extend beyond the classroom. And if one were to truly believe that one could learn by oneself, it is interesting to note that these adults do not home school their children and let them take national examinations as private candidates.

On top of that, I am fortunate to blessed with a side job of being an assistant instructor to a brass band. It is a scary experience because I do not know very much about brass instruments. Yet, as this job requires teaching and making music, what better that to bestow upon these children the gift of music? While my musical experience extends to a meagre eight years, I do hope that what little I could teach would allow these children an alternative outlet of expression that transcends any language, cultural and chronological barriers. As music has inspired me, I hope I would be a bridge for these children to cross which will allow them to be inspired in profound ways.

As for entering university, it is definitely an exciting prospect because it would be the final culmination of the many years of my education. The possibilities are boundless and I still have not a smidgen of an idea as to my major. But I am definitely looking to do a double major for I love too many subjects offered to choose just one. Nonetheless, it would definitely be a exciting trip.

On a personal note, 2011 would mean the year that I would turn 21 - a year that is considered to be the start of an adult life or as one friend puts it, "you're definitely going to prison and  get caned for whatever wrong you've done once you're 21... No way around it." It would be a year to explore maturity and what it means to be a man in this modern age. Something that interests and excites me at the same time. As for my aspirations in relation to my coming of age, I truly hope to be as all rounded as possible especially in the intellectual arena. Also, with regards to my physical condition, I definitely look forward to improving it and am sure the myriad of activities that university has to offer will hopefully aid me in that.

So here's to a wonderful and blessed 2011!!

Blast from the Past

Every once in a while, we are reminded of certain things we used to do as children that may seem silly or amusing to us now. But I often marvel at that young boy many years ago for his innocence, purity and the sheer altruism of helping people. I'd thought I would share one of those memory that I was brought back to as I was staring out of the car window. 

As I was returning home from lunch today, I was staring blankly out of the car window and my gaze started to drift the the various number plates of the cars beside the vehicle I was in. As I was wondering what is with the number plates of the cars that caught my attention, I remembered that I had a habit of copying down the details of license plates of cars I saw. This habit was borne out of the intention of potentially assisting the police in an investigation should the need arises.

While the act was totally naive, the altruism of the intention, the sense of adventure as well as the keen conception of such an idea after noticing the license plates on cars reaffirm the sad fact that we live less and exist more as we mature.

Perhaps, that is why we often find ourselves insisting that children should have a proper and happy childhood and should not be forced to grow up ahead of their physical development.

Being Thankful

It is good to give thanks to

the Lord,

to sing praises to your name,

O most High;

to declare your steadfast love

in the morning,

and your faithfulness

by night,

to the music of the lute and

the harp,

to the melody of the lyre.

For you, O Lord, have made

me glad by your work;

at the works of your hands

I sing for joy.

~ Psalms 92:1-4

A Soldier's Lesson in Humanity

Here's something that I found lying around my computer's hard-drive which was written during my BMT. Enjoy!

Everyone has their own version of how military life has affected them for the better or worse. These versions are so different and vibrant that it casts a cloud of confusion in judging the effect BMT has on a callow eighteen-year-old as he is being made to serve the nation. Yet, one thing is for sure – BMT has a resounding effect on anyone and it certainly changed my view on humanity.

Before coming to BMT, my only perception of war and the military is a detached one which is taken from war movies and documentaries. Through these sources, we are made to view the extremities; the glory of dying for one’s country or the horrifying destruction that war brings. Such a view is often shallow as it results in us supporting or condemning the need for war while ignoring the role that humanity plays in it. However, BMT allowed me to consider many important questions about the sanctity of life and sacrifice and nothing reveals so much other than the live firing and hand grenade exercises. These collective experiences both make me a better soldier and a better human being.

Firing the SAR 21 certainly left an indelible impact on me. I distinctively remember my initial fear of firing that first round and the adrenaline rush of euphoria afterward as I get increasingly accurate at my shots. Taking a step back, I realise how the surge of adrenaline is a very dangerous feeling; the excitement one gets from firing the rifle strips part of our humanity as we forget that what we are firing at – human beings. As a result, we become overly engrossed in completing our mission and lose our compassion and even our own moral compass. Therefore, instead of defending our country, we engage in mindless slaughter. Thus, while we train hard to be a competent soldier and claim a ‘swift and decisive victory’, we must always remember to be ethical in our treatment of our enemies for they too, share the same hopes, fears and dreams as us. For while there is an inevitable need to be on opposing ends for the sake of our individual country, on the most basic level, we are still flesh and blood and have no personal grudge against each other.

Such an experience made me understand social scientist, Philip Zimbardo’s, ‘Lucifer Effect’. One of his postulations is that genocide occurs as soldiers are made to think that their enemies are less than human which removes their sense of conscience and remorse which is exacerbated from the loss of personal identity due to implementation of uniformity and regimentation. Consequently, excessive brutality tends to be easily justified when dealing with our enemies. This also highlights an important point that while we must put our trust in our commanders and follow orders, we must retain our sense of ethics and humanity to put our foot down and stand against it should our orders be blatantly unreasonable which is rarely the case.

Another defining moment for me was during the hand grenade exercise. The effect of the explosion as ball bearings are sprayed in the air was certainly impressive. Yet, in all our awe of its effect, we often forget that such a simple technology would sound the death knell for anyone in a split second as our lives are made so vulnerable like a candle flame in the wind. Such a frightful thought does bear a valuable lesson in humanity. It teaches us, soldiers, to cherish the fruits of life and everyone that is around us for in the merciless scourge of war, no one knows when our time will come. It emphasises on the need for the generosity of the heart in showing care to our fellow soldiers out in the field for in the most trying of times, the triumph of the human spirit in brotherly bond will bring calm amidst the storm.

Never has these concepts been so real to me before the experience of wielding weapons that could wipe out a portion of humanity in a matter of seconds. As much as our time spent is in the hopes of becoming better soldiers, we must understand and maintain a sense of our humanity. While Hollywood may proclaim ‘Dulce et decorum est pro patrica mori’ [1], it is more important that we could place our hands on our hearts and say that we were human in the battlefield. That is one lesson in humanity that I will never forget.

~~~~~~~

[1] ‘It is sweet and proper to die for one’s country’ – a famous line taken from one of Horace’s poems which was made popular by Wilfred Owen’s poem, ‘Dulce Decorum est’