Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Job Interview

An office of a media company. The office is very well-furnished; a mark of a prestigious company. The interviewer is immaculately dressed while the applicant is simply but neatly dressed. Perhaps, too neatly dressed - as if he were wearing a military uniform rather than office wear. As the curtain opens and the lights come on, the applicant is seated across the table from the interviewer with his bag by the side - signalling that the interview has already begun.

Applicant:
Good Morning, Sir.

Interviewer:
A very Good Morning to you too! Thank you for your interest in a position in our Advertising Department. To start off, could you kindly tell me a little about your background and what drives you in life?

Applicant:
Sure! I come from a modest background and have been living in the heartlands all my life. As such, I've often faced ridicule from my friends who are better off than me. This little tribulation has thus strengthen my resolve to succeed and be the best in whatever I'm doing. Therefore, what drives me in life is a good challenge.

Interviewer:
Very impressive. We're off to a very nice start, aren't we? Now would you allow me to review your education record and previous work experience?

Applicant:
No problem, Sir. (removes a black folder from his bag and hands it to the interviewer)

Interviewer:
Thank you. (takes the folder, opens it and reads it. In the course of reading, he quietly mumbles some of the contents to himself)

Applicant:
As you can see sir, I have done considerably well in my studies and do work well with my peers! On several occasions, I have won many awards for myself! While it may sound like I'm boasting, I'd say, you'll never find a guy like me walking into your office everyday for an interview! (smirks)

Interview:
(nods) Well, I can see that... (turns to the last page of the folder. Reads the contents, furrow his brows, pauses in utter puzzlement)

Applicant:
Is anything the matter, Sir?

Interviewer:
While you have done well during your university days, it says here that you've got a degree in -

Applicant:
B.A. in Physical Education and Sports Science!

Interviewer:
But that has nothing to do with advertising.

Applicant:
I'm aware of that, Sir! But in the job market these days one doesn't necessarily need to have a degree in a field that they are going to work in. Look at the number of law students who decided to ditch the court and open up their own businesses! It all boils down to a steely resolve which I have!

Interviewer:
Are you aware that the position you are applying is to be a Deputy Head of the Advertising Department? (irritated) You need to have some experience in the advertising business itself! Do you know the number of applicants I've turned down who actually have a good degree in Mass Communications but have no experience! (anger builds) Are you even aware that this post requires you to head a team of about 100 in our projects! We are a prestigious media company and is unmatched everywhere in this country! We have no time to train any rookies like you even for a middle management post... let alone a top management position! What in the world made you apply for this interview in the first place!!!

Applicant:
Well Sir, I'm different! That's because I went through nine months of HELL in order to graduate! Do you know how much we were physically tortured with an utter lack of sleep, countless number of physical exercises and verbal abuse we have suffered? Only the best can endure through it! Do you know that 300 people graduated from that HELLISH bootcamp! Let me remind you sir, that it was NINE MONTHS!! Based on that Sir, I am damn well qualified for the job and I deserve all the respect I get. Therefore, you raising your voice is utterly inappropriate!

Interviewer:
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! Oh... and F.Y.I... I HAVE ONE BROTHER, A COUSIN AND TWO NEPHEWS WHO PASSED OUT OF THAT STUPID BOOTCAMP OF YOURS! SO YOU AIN'T THAT GREAT. NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!!

Curtains Close.

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My gentle readers,

I do hope you enjoyed this little piece of scribble. While the whole thing seems incredulous, I'm sure some fellas out there have come across similar occurrences once in your life?

Thank you for taking your time to read it.

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