A Story Etched on a Zippo

 

Vintage brass Zippo lighter before and after polishing.

Several years ago, I got interested in Zippo lighters and wanted one for myself. While many boys my age were interested in doing tricks with the Zippo, I was more taken by its heritage and history.

With my conscription into the military looming, finding out that the US soldiers were issued with a Zippo lighter had a certain resonance with me. It represented a certain commonality, camaraderie, and brotherhood.

My mother was slightly hesitant to get me one, as she probably wondered if I am going to take up smoking or have already done so. To her relief, I have since used it to light the occasional candle or melt wax to seal my letters.

While new ones were readily available at shopping malls, I was adamant about getting a vintage one. For an iconic piece of Americana, having some story behind it adds a little more meaning to it. What I did not consider back then was that it could be a plain old lighter and the seller might not have any idea about its provenance.

On a Saturday morning, I dragged my poor mother to Normanton Park condominium, which houses By My Old School, a shop which sells all sorts of vintage curios (they have since moved to Commonwealth).

The helpful sales assistant retrieved a brass Zippo lighter. I did not tell her my desire to find one that has some sort of story behind it, but she seemed to have read my mind. The lighter had an inscription on it:

Dearest 

    A.J.

Quit, Quit,

Quit.

Love, 

    F.P.

Back then, I did not think much about the inscription. I seemed to be only interested in the idea of owning something with some history—any history, whatever it might be. The sales assistant did not know about the provenance of the lighter, but the fact that it has some history was enough to satisfy me. 

Over the years, spots and all sorts of blemishes have appeared on the lighter, as they threatened to bury the inscription. Having had some free time towards the end of 2020, I decided to complete tasks that I have been putting off for the longest time. 

As I polished the brass and the inscription emerged, I began to wonder about the actual history and story behind the inscription. 

This is probably a gift from a certain F.P. to A.J. If the former wants the latter to quit smoking, why would F.P. enable A.J.’s habit with a lighter as a gift? 

I initially dismissed it as silly and irrational. 

Perhaps F.P. gave up hope on A.J. ever quitting and this was some last-ditch attempt? Or was this a smart move to subtly remonstrate with A.J. every time a cigarette is lit, as the brass reflected the embers? 

Wait a minute… 

What is the relationship between F.P. and A.J.? I simply assumed they are married… could they be lovers or just friends? How long have they known each other before this gift was given? Are F.P. and A.J. initials of their actual names or nicknames they gave to each other? 

Thinking about the inscription has raised an endless stream of questions. It is amazing how seven words etched on a brass casing reveal the complexities of human relationships: our desires, foibles, and frailties. 

If only there was a way to find out the identities of F.P. and A.J. Then again, not knowing allows me to ponder about the possibilities—a pleasure in itself.

Parliament is Theatre

Photo: Screengrab from TODAY

I recently wrote to the forum editor of Today to contribute to the debate surrounding the need for having live broadcasts of parliamentary proceedings. As with any editing process, some bits were removed. While it does not change the fundamental points of my piece, some stylistic choices were gone. The following is the original letter:

I refer to Dr Michelle Khoo’s letter, “No plans for live Parliament broadcast, which runs risk of changing sober tone of proceedings: Govt” (Today, 15 May 2020).

As a freelance performer and an independent theatre reviewer, I am bemused that the press secretary to the Minister of Culture, Community, and Youth would evoke theatre to mean something frivolous.

Perhaps she should reäcquaint with the fact that one of the ancient roots of theatre lies in the state, ritual, and the polis. The closest manifestations of that today are state functions and ceremonies, including parliamentary proceedings.

As long as there is someone doing something and another present to witness it, there is a performative element inherent in the activity.

I am supportive of having a live broadcast, and by that, I mean an online broadcast. I will not be surprised if several supporters of this move had that in mind as well. It is impractical to have a channel on television dedicated to parliamentary proceedings because we do not have a public broadcaster such as the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), and it is equally impractical to disrupt an existing channel’s programming.

To that end, Dr Khoo’s argument of low demand as seen in television viewership is not fully relevant. Furthermore, it is fascinating that she leaves out the online viewership figures of the occasional live broadcasts.

Besides, a complete broadcast of parliamentary proceedings is a public service and should not be tied to ratings. The government should provide as many opportunities for citizens to scrutinise proceedings and their representatives as possible.

Whether we make use of it, is up to us.

Additionally, a live broadcast leaves a copy of the complete proceedings for us to review at a convenient time. Having access to recordings of only the speeches leaves out a lot of information of how members behave in parliament and the general atmosphere of the debate.

What is unsaid is equally crucial as what is said.

As for Dr Khoo’s worries of MPs “playing to the gallery” or “striking poses”, she should have more faith in the integrity of our MPs. It is natural for them to feel pressured in the knowledge that their constituents are watching them as they speak or listen; representing the people is a grave responsibility. However, if an MP feels the urge to preen, pose, and play to the gallery, it is more of a reflection on said MP as opposed to the audience.

Finally, having spent countless hours in the theatre, I can assure Dr Khoo in full confidence that the tone of the proceedings is up to those being watched; what they say and how they play their part. One should not blame the broadcast medium or the audience, who are meant to be there in the first place.

I invite Dr Khoo to spend some serious time in the theatre, when the curtains are raised again, to experience this for herself.

--------------------------------------

Addendum

The government has decided to provide a livestream of the proceedings and Today has reached out to me for my reaction. 

Writing it Down in These Ill-Wresting Times

Ever since COVID-19—known then as novel coronavirus—made its appearance on the world stage in January 2020, everyone has been trying to find ways to cope with its effects. For most of the world’s population, it is a matter of survival; a gamble between feeding oneself or catching the virus. For the rest, it is to find meaning; to tick things off our when-I-have-the-time lists, or just to kill boredom.

Among countless articles of the latest number of cases or furious commentaries debating whether governments around the world are doing enough, there is an unassuming article from the University of Virginia that seem to gain traction, as it made multiple appearances on my social media feed. It is an interview with Professor Herbet “Tico” Braun and why he encourages his students to document their lives during this pandemic.

“Many of us are writing today and producing our work on social media. It is an explosion. You can gather these voices, these experiences, all this creativity. They are all a record of our times. These voices are urgent.”

As a reader of diaries and letters, I do get the value of chronicling the times. I am taken by the idea of belonging to a community. Even though it is undefined and rather amorphous, there is something about writing something that resonates with a complete stranger. But what can I add to the wider record, to be part of this disparate community?

On one hand, I get the sense that people around me have had enough of the doom and gloom. Additionally, I am somewhat sheltered from the brunt of the calamity; detailing my “ways to cope” would come across as insensitive to those who are more adversely affected by the pandemic, medically or otherwise.

On the other, I am not keen on contributing to the junkyard of banality. It is fascinating how posts by some celebrities and “influencers” ring hollow in these times. Posing and preening brings no comfort, while polished endorsements appear farcical.

So what will the timbre of my voice be in this ill-wresting time?

It is for you to judge when we can step out of our houses again.

The Passing of Dr Sydney Brenner

I have never personally met Dr Brenner; the only time I saw him was from afar. However, when I heard of his passing yesterday, my heart sank and I simply did not know what to do for a few minutes.

Having studied the humanities all my life, I will never know the magnitude of his contributions, however comprehensively expressed. Markers such as his Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine in 2002 and being given awarded an honourary citizenship by the Singapore government in 2003 do not seem to do him justice.

So why am I struck by the death of a scientist who, by all accounts, has led a long and fruitful life?

As life would have it, I encountered Dr Brenner while working for Para Limes when it was still based at Nanyang Technological University. Part of my duties was to edit raw transcripts of the various conferences organised by Para Limes before passing it on to a professional editor to turn it into a book. Hence, I have edited transcripts of various talks given by Dr Brenner during the conferences.

Watching recordings of him repeatedly while editing the transcripts had a strange effect on me. As one had to listen very intently with headphones on, it did feel as if he was speaking directly to me.

While most of the content are beyond me, I was struck by his vigour and wit despite being afflicted with ill health. He came across as someone who has always been interested in science, and the actual research and experimentation should take priority. Such a concern is understandable, and it is one shared by people from various disciplines as well.

During the conference entitled, Grand Challenges of Science in the 21st Century, he wryly criticises the bureaucracy within scientific institutions with his characteristic wit:

The full recording of Dr Brenner's talk, in which he went on to discuss the challenges of science can be found here. Para Limes has since went on to produce a book which condenses the main points made by all the speakers of the event, which is available for purchase.

Despite all his accomplishments and seniority, his passion and sense of wonderment never left him. During his last appearance at one of Para Limes' events, he sent down with computational neurobiologist, Terry Sejnowski, and spoke candidly about the development of science and his career.

Over the course of several sessions, he explained how he structured his laboratory and ensured everyone involved took responsibility of their areas of research. He also provided anecdotes about how he treasured talent and skill over paper qualifications. It is amazing that his rebellious streak still feels unorthodox today, let alone back then.

The following is the first video of the series:

His account of the history of microbiology and his work during this event has been recorded and published as a book entitled, In the Spirit of Science: Sydney Brenner on DNA, Worms, and Brains.

It is interesting that through the course of a menial task, I unwittingly established an unlikely connection with Dr Brenner. His devotion to science and endless curiosity resonated with me. The constant push and striving in the human spirit is inspiring, and was definitely embodied by Dr Brenner.

While it is almost impossible to attain equivalent accomplishments in my line of work, one hopes to emulate his spirit in pursuing what is important, and be endlessly curious in whatever we do. 

Thank you Dr Brenner.

Ray Blake Traveller's Notebook (Review and Set-up)

A while back, I wrote about the beautiful dilemma I have after being introduced to Midori Traveller's Notebook. It has been a year since I started using it and I've been loving it!

Recently, I decided to purchase a notebook from Ray Blake which will be used as a notebook to write my key impressions when I review theatre productions or books.

If you would like to read those reviews, please visit www.isaactanbr.com

Of Two Minds

I am glad that there has been a concerted effort in featuring most of our athletes in the run-up to the Southeast Asian (SEA) Games. It gives them the recognition they deserve which would hopefully drum up more support for them.  However, I am puzzled by this feature from Today. 

Any sport requires a combination of athleticism and craft. Excellence is achieved through years of practice and discipline. It is a career in its own right; one that starts rather early. This is why I am puzzled by the need for these netball players to have a day job. It would certainly surprise any athlete from abroad that some of our athletes only train three to four hours a day. More importantly, regardless of how doggedly resilient they are, having little rest would affect their performance in both the sport and their day jobs.

Why would they do this? Three possible reasons come to mind. 

(1) They really want it. 

If that is the case, then props to them. While I personally feel that they should focus on their sport, given that an athlete's career is short and netball has fewer competition opportunities (they are not included in the Olympics yet),  they should be free to pursue their own goals. I am also glad that their employers and coaches are understanding in this regard. 

(2) They want to make ends meet. 

I really hope this is not the case. If it is, then it is a disgrace that a country can spend billions and expedite construction only to have a stadium with a leaky roof, or millions on the opening ceremony and publicity campaigns, but not pay their players well. 

The time and energy invested in training are definitely the same, if not more, than their counterparts in the corporate world. They also risk injuring themselves which might have a permanent effect on their health. 

(3) They are doing this in preparation for a career transition once they retire from the game. 

This is a tricky one. We must not assume that they would necessarily want to stay in sports or be a coach after they hang up their jerseys. Though, as a point of interest, I wonder whether the sports industry is able to absorb all of them should they choose to stay.

While the Singapore Sports Council should be commended for their SPEX education and career scheme, the ideal would be for the athletes to worry about their careers only after they have retired. Of course they should plan for their career transition but they should not have to handle such an arduous juggling act. What little time they have outside of practice should go to spending time with friends and family. 

I wonder if, after the cameras and sound recorders are switched off, the reporter asked why they wanted to juggle two careers.  

What Job Can I Do With A Philosophy Degree?

Being involved with my faculty's open house for the past three years, that is the question—as phrased in our local parlance—that prospective students (or their parents) will always ask. It is so important that a certain ritual is often performed before the question is asked. 

The student or parent would pause as if to consider whether it is the appropriate time to ask. Then, it is occasionally followed by a false start complemented with an obligatory tinge of embarrassment: "Erm... Wha-what job can I (or my son/daughter) do with a philosophy degree?" 

This question, to many, is the million-dollar question; the barometer indicating the worth of pursuing a discipline. This question irks me the most. 

It irks me not because it is a bad question. Far from that; being prudential can be a virtue in certain circumstances. It is the way it is asked. It makes all the previous questions seem banal—chatter that paves the way for the "important" question. 

It makes going to university, which is an absolute privilege, akin to going through a toll booth. One does not care for it and is eager to go through it just to get to a supposedly better destination. Most of all, I get a feeling that the question is asked without much reflection. It is amazing how some students are very frank about why they are asking the question: "What do I tell my mum?" 

In previous years, I was eager to brush the question aside. I would cite a few seniors as examples and list a few other possible jobs which left the student/parent and I equally unsatisfied. With the benefit of having a philosophical education for four years, it is time to address this question properly. 

The Underlying Question

The question that is often asked is far from simple. In fact it is the wrong question to start with. The fact that simply listing various examples is not satisfactory means that there is an underlying need that is not addressed. What could it be?

While there are several reasons which compel one to ask that question, two comes to mind immediately:

(a) You are worried about not being employable. 

(b) You have a desired job or an industry in mind and you wonder whether philosophy will help or hinder you. 

Employability

Granted that—apart from academia or particular teaching jobs—you hardly see "Wanted: Philosophy Graduates" in job advertisements, philosophy graduates are not sleeping under bridges. In fact, the previous two batches of graduates (i.e., the most recent group to enter the workforce) are employed in both public and private sectors. They work in a variety of industries such as Singapore Airlines, customs, human resource, and consultancy.

As such, the major worries in (a) are unfounded. This should also help to answer (b) to some degree.

Assistance or Hindrance?

The whole focus of (b) is problematic. There is an underlying assumption that there is some form of simple correlation between your major and a job or range of jobs. Also, it seems to focus on the paper qualifications itself rather than whether the skills you acquire through philosophy are helpful. 

Firstly, based on the variety of industries my seniors are working in, whatever major you take in the course of getting your B.A. does not matter save for specialised industries such as medicine, law, engineering etc.

More importantly, the paper qualifications play an incredibly small part as to whether you eventually get the job and subsequently thrive in it. A lot has to do with your overall performance in the interview, your attitude, adaptability, and willingness to learn. 

That said, it must be acknowledged that the class of your B.A. (not the major) will determine the career tracks and pay grades in quite a few industries. While NUS has changed its degree classification, it is a cosmetic change and employers will still know whether your degree is a first or second class. 

As such, while your grades are not the be-all and end-all, it is still important. What is the point of pursuing a supposedly more profitable discipline, which does not guarantee anything in the first place, only to obtain mediocre marks because it does not interest you? 

Gone are the days when dogged memorisation and regurgitation will get you good marks. There must be a great deal of inner motivation to see you through a tough ride. Three or four years is a considerable investment of your time, why not do something you enjoy?

The million-dollar question is only worth a hundred dollars.

Nitty-Gritty

Of course, I am not under the illusion that what I have written thus far would convince everyone, especially in the hard-nosed and "practical" culture that I am brought up in. So what "transferable" skills does philosophy equip you with?

An easy answer is to utter the buzz words: critical thinking. But such an answer is unhelpful and ironically shows that one is not even thinking.

Another easy but slightly better answer is that it makes you question all assumptions. I do not think that it is necessarily the case but in the course of tackling philosophical questions, it would at least make you aware of them. This will help define the problem better and it paves the way to solving or at least addressing it. It is no wonder that the quote by Charles Kettering, "A problem well stated is a problem half-solved," is often repeated by peers and professors.

Another skill that is very much in the spirit of Kettering is the clarity of expression. This may seem very surprising to those who have not taken philosophy because there are some philosophers who are utterly impenetrable. However, those philosophers are often of a different era or the original text is not in English. Otherwise, it is expected of us to be able to express the views of others clearly, robustly, charitably, and succinctly.

A close companion of writing would, of course, be reading. In the course of engaging with various thinkers, one will encounter a variety of rhetorical styles; from the systematic and almost scientific presentations to one with literary flourish. One is required not only to read for understanding but for nuance. The choice of words, examples, punctuation, and even italics are incredibly important in identifying the stance of the philosopher.

Additionally, due to the various branches of philosophy, one will be equipped to read papers from other disciplines. For example, in a philosophy of mind class, a couple of my readings were actually psychology papers and we were required to go through them and suss out the philosophically important aspects of the experiments. I have also encountered texts from sociologists, cultural commentators, and even biologists in the course of four years. This is due to the fact we have a faculty that has a wide range of research interests and that various branches of philosophy are inter-disciplinary by nature.

Such skills are useful even at the interview stage. There are some positions within the government sector (unfortunately, I am not at liberty to disclose too much here) that require a few rounds of interviews before a final decision is made. The first couple of rounds are a variety of tests. Some of the questions could be in the form of a logic question (logic is a compulsory module for all majors) or one may be asked to summarise articles. Clearly, the skills mentioned above will put one in good stead.

The Life of the Mind

The one thing that I seldom get to tell students at the open house is the sheer joy of studying philosophy. I once asked one of my professors what do we tell people who ask why they should study philosophy and he said, "For starters, I have not met anyone with a philosophy degree who regretted their decision." While it is not certain if that applies to all philosophy graduates, I for one do not regret my decision.

The life of the mind is the best gift a university education can offer and it has an impact beyond academia. The way we think and the phrases we use are all shaped by the discourses that are circulated in our society. University is a wonderful opportunity to examine, assess, measure, and interrogate these concepts and ideas. It is not merely an intellectual exercise or the domain of the proverbial ivory tower, but a continuous process of seeing yourself in relation to the world. Philosophy thus offers a very broad prism for you to glance into.

In a speech about the legacy of Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry quotes from Oscar Wilde's De Profundis in which Wilde talks about the "Oxford temper"—the ability to "play gracefully with ideas." This should really be the temperament of any university student. While playing gracefully may have the ostensible implication of frivolity, the qualities Wilde refers to are subtlety, dexterity, kindness, curiosity and open-mindedness. It is also why I think the phrase, "come for the answers, stay for the questions" is very pertinent to philosophy.

The pithy paragraph above does an injustice to Fry and it is rewarding to at least listen to the end of the speech in which he talks about the life of the mind.

It is only in acknowledging this, that one realises—as I mentioned earlier—what a privilege it is in having the opportunity to attend university. An opportunity given that is derived from the toil of others whose children may not necessarily be given the same privilege.

The best way to show gratitude is to revel in this wonderful pursuit and not sully it by treating it as a grimy toll booth. 

Happy St Patrick's Day!

I am writing this post in the final hour of St Patrick's Day. To my Irish readers or those who adore the Irish culture, here's wishing you a very Happy St Patrick's Day.

The idea for this post came to me as I was deciding what I should post on my Facebook to celebrate the occasion. An easy choice would be a clip from Riverdance as it really brought Irish dancing to the world. However, it is a bit of a cliché at best or patronising at worst. But the problem is that I really love the show because, apart from its popular appeal, it is very well conceived. While distinctly Irish, it is intercultural as it showcased cousin art forms such as flamenco and tap dance. It also launched the career of the choir, Anuna, beyond the Irish borders.  After much agony, I decided to post a clip of Colin Dunne (rather than Michael Flatley) and Maria Pages doing a duet; a lesser known number in the show and it reminds you of its intercultural nature.

As I was watching Colin Dunne dance, I was reminded of the time he performed his solo show, Out of Time, in Singapore. It was a rare treat as it was only showing for two nights. I attended the opening night and I sat dead center and was probably three feet away from him. It was an intimate show as Dunne reflected upon his experience as a dancer as well as the roots of the art form. Unfortunately, 10 minutes into the show, he slipped, fell, strained a leg muscle, and had to limp offstage. After another 10 minutes of rest and assessment of his condition, Dunne decided to cancel the show and refunded our tickets. My first impulse was to immediately buy a ticket for the second night even though I was quite busy that day. However, I thought he might not perform the next night and I needed to spend time completing my school assignments anyway. Thankfully, but unfortunately for me, he did not cancel the next night.

I can still remember the shock when I saw him fall right in front of me. Part of me was worried about his career. After all, he pulled a leg muscle and was already in his 40s then. But like any professional, he dust himself off and continued to tour his show. As for me, all I have is this video clip to remember the performance:

Thoughts on Being Hacked

It’s just one of those things which you hardly think about until it happens to you. You know how to minimise the chances of it occurring but you couldn’t be bothered to take precautions; you think, “well if it really happens, I know what to do anyway. No sweat.” Then it happened to me.

A familiar episode of procrastination turned out to be something unexpected. I was just about to close my Facebook app on my phone when the corner of my eye caught something different. Why does that small square picture (i.e. my profile picture on the blue bar) have a different colour scheme? Thinking it was something to do with the app or my dinosaur of a phone, I decided to open my profile page – my jaw dropped. That cold stare of a skull, with its hollow eye socket, put me in a daze for a moment. What does this mean? How did my profile picture became this hideous thing? Thankfully, this stranger indicated what has happened in my cover picture; a guy wearing a hoodie (taken from Shutterstock may I add) and the words “You’ve Been Hacked.”

Scrolling down my timeline, I was really thankful that the hacker (henceforth H) had the courtesy to inform me, and all my connections on Facebook, what had happened. My timeline was littered with three pornographic pictures, including a really distasteful one involving zombies. What would everyone have thought had it not been for the cover picture? On hindsight, I hardly doubt that H was trying to be courteous, he (could be a she but I’ll make this assumption anyway) was mocking me and announcing his achievements.

At that moment, the carelessly thought out contingency plan whenever I dismiss the need for a complicated password could not be summoned. My mind went blank. I was at a complete loss as to what to do; obvious things like deleting all the pictures as the first step of damage control did not occur to me until 10 minutes later. Why would H choose me – a completely easy target by any standards? What satisfaction is there to be gotten from attacking the defenceless?

With these questions unanswered, more questions started to set in. How long has these things been there? It couldn’t be long or a whole army of people would tell me about it. Would they? What would people think? What if they don’t go to my profile page after seeing those pictures? And then, it started. “Oh wow you’ve been hacked real bad.” “Isaac, you better check your FB.”

After some commiserations with friends, acquaintances, and even teachers, I started to assess the damage done. Little did I know that I was soon locked out of my own Facebook account while trying to suspend it. H even went so far as to lock my email so that requesting a recovery password would be useless. I had to recover control of my email before I can do so for my Facebook account.

A few weeks later, I discovered that H even hacked into a blog that is an online portfolio of all my writings – one that prospective employers will see. My profile picture changed, the same pornographic pictures appeared, H even stretched his literary muscles and try to plant the F word strategically in my posts while trying to make sense – he failed. I must say that I’m flattered and sad at the same time about H’s visit to my blog. I’m flattered that he bothered to read my posts in detail and am sad that the only person who pay such attention to my writing is a bored geek who can’t be bothered about grammar or spelling.

As with any ordeal, this incident did shed some interesting insights about myself and the people around me. For one, I’m not a cool cucumber – I couldn’t think straight even though it’s a relatively minor incident of cyber vandalism. Secondly, I’m glad that the first reactions of my friends on Facebook were concern and surprise rather than being appalled – none of them thought that I would be the sort to post such pictures. Lastly, I think our law enforcement infrastructure needs to catch up with the times. I realised that when a friend asked if I reported this incident to the police. I did not do that because the police could not do much especially if H is based overseas. More importantly, there was no direct cybercrime unit that I could report to. By the time the coppers at my local police post redirect my report to a relevant unit, it would have been rather long since the incident occurred.

You may be surprised that I have not drawn up a “cyber security checklist” or some other nifty crime prevention message that we are bombarded with. If you could navigate your way to this article, you are probably technologically savvy enough to know the basic tips (which is what I know anyway) but like me, you’ll overlook it. So if it happens to you, know that it’s not the end of the world, take a deep breath, roll up your sleeves, and try to save your online presence.

Looking Back and Ahead

It's amazing to realise that I'm now well into my second year of university and 2012 will end in four days. Another amazingly embarassing fact is that I have not blogged ever since summer. I do hope this personal musing would be a start of a few posts before I retreat into my long period of silence as school begins to over occupy my life.

 

At the risk of causing my readers to roll their eyes, 2012 passed by in a flash. While it is as cliche as it comes, I seriously don't remember most of what happened this year. All I could remember is that I did my second semester of my first year, had my summer holidays with consists of not finding a job but an opportunity to act. My second year started in August and now I'm having my holidays again. That's all I remember really.

 

The past semester has been really hectic despite the fact that I managed to plan my modules in such a way that I get a four-day work week. But being in an exco of two CCAs and flamenco practice three times a week, rest was certainly not on the cards. For the first time in my academic career, I found myself writing into the wee hours of the morning the night before the deadline. Fortunately, all my assignments were submitted on time by the breadth of one's hair. Fast forward to yesterday, I got my results and it was nothing short of divine intervention - while my CAP (or some of you may know it as GPA) slipped by a wee bit, I did slightly better than expected. As the new semester comes around, it will be a hectic time as well since my responsibilities as an Exco member of both the Literary Society and Philosophy Interest Group have not ended. But as the famous poem goes, this too shall pass.

 

But if I were to pick a particular highlight of 2012, it would be during Christmas. I found my eventual decision somewhat intriguing because, truth be told, Christmas this year wasn't very 'Christmasy' at all. Perhaps I am just burnt out by the semester that has passed or perhaps the season was fraught with too much tragedy or that the rubbish Christmas lighting at Orchard Road affected the whole mood. Whatever it is, the yuletide cheer was somewhat muted this year. But I realised one thing - I just have too many things. The thought of receiving more gifts that I probably don't need suddenly made me anxious but as I worked through that anxiety, I experienced a drizzle of joy. I wrote the following line on Facebook:

 

"It's a wonderful feeling that, in the midst of presents and giving, you realise that you simply need nothing at all. That means you are well provided for and you're relatively contented with life's lot."

 

What a wonderful thought!

 

Looking ahead, I do hope that the 2013 will be one of creativity. I just got accepted into a playwriting class and I do hope to compose a few more poems that would be accepted in literary journals other than the one I started. The most exciting part of the year would be performing in a flamenco dance show which would be my first time dancing out of a school context. So a happy 2013 everyone!

 

Next up, I do hope I could expound on my experience as someone who has started writing for real as well as my thoughts of being a flamenco bailaor.

 

Till now, if you are not sick of reading this post.. I salute you and if you want to read more, why not read this!

 

 

 

 

What's in a (Sur)name?

What is your surname? On the surface, it seems like an easy answer since most of us are born into patrilineal or matrilineal societies and we choose the appropriate surname accordingly. Yet, if we were to really think about the function and purpose of surnames, we run into several problems. Aside from tradition and customs, why should we be made to choose?

Let us suppose there's someone named John and his father's surname is Lim while his mother's surname is Ang (This is just an example. Any similarity is purely coincidental). Is he less of an Ang just because he comes from a patrilineal society? More importantly, what defines someone with a particular surname? We often hear about people clinging on to their surnames and boasting of a particular characteristic that comes with the surname. While such a declaration is more about establishing a sense of identity and belonging, there is really nothing that a surname does besides distinguishing our John from the rest of the other Johns that we might know.

Having established that, the main function of surnames is a utilitarian one, why are people so caught up with their family names and establishing this "Us vs Them" mentality? Worse of all, why are married couples so engrossed in differentiating between "my side of the family vs yours"? One may concede that the first case is due to the need to protect one's family and to ensure that all its members are bonded. But how does this explain the second case? It seems that getting so hung up about one's surname actually creates a divide in families as well.

Such a mentality can be attributed to culture to a certain extent. I will only be talking about the Chinese culture here in Singapore since I am most familiar with it. There is a common Chinese saying that a daughter is like water thrown out of the house once she is married. This is due to the fact that Chinese societies are largely patriarchal and the wife adopts the husband's surname. As such, she is no longer considered part of the family as she will be expected to serve her in laws. It is with this well entrenched mindset that we now see some women lashing out and refusing to adopt her husband's surname come what may. This backlash has sent families from one extreme to another as there are wives that do not want to be associated with the husband's family which perpetuates or even exacerbates the divide.

Another cause of such a mentality could possibly be the romantic idea that you are only marrying the other person for that person and the family does not matter. While I am a sentimental sod myself, we have to realise that this is certainly not the case. What we are essentially asking of our partners is to disregard their family. And this would seem rather ironic should we decide to have children as we would hope that our partners are family orientated and would spend quality time with us and the children. In this light, should we enter into a marriage with such a mentality, we would implicitly start our married lives with a divide in the family that would be the root of many problems to come. As much as we hate to admit it, when we marry someone, we marry the family too. 

But if we are to resign ourselves to marrying the family, are we to subject ourselves to a lifetime of misery when we think about the weird distant relatives that our partners may have? Well, what I am advocating here is to take into consideration of how well one can get along with the immediate in laws. In the unfortunate event that one might run into problems, then one has to reflect on whether both parties are willing to work it out. I am in no way encouraging people to turn down proposals just because the parents of the prospective partner are difficult. As for the weird uncles and aunts, I guess we should be gracious enough to bear their presence since by the virtue of them being distant, it would mean that we will only meet them a couple of times a year. 

So what should we make of the issue of surnames? We should call a spade a spade. We should recognise that surnames are just identity markers and since identity is about how people see themselves and how they want others to see them, let them choose which surname they would want to adopt. But we should not be so hung up about whatever implications there may be about surnames which are largely imposed by societies and mindsets that we may have.

"Hello nice to meet you. My name is Isaac, what's yours?.. Oh, I'm Isaac Tan. What's your surname?"

So You Are A Philosophy Student

Q: What are you doing now?

A: I'm a philosophy undergrad.

Q: Who is your favourite philosopher? What are your views on the death penalty, abortion, stem cell research, gay rights etc. etc. etc.?

I can speak for no one except myself. However, I often find myself in such a situation and I do have mixed feelings about it. But one question often lingers in my mind: what is the purpose of all these questions?

On one hand, I am somewhat flattered that well meaning people assume that I may have unique perspectives since my major involves exploring the world of ideas.

On the other, I cannot help but feel a sense of trepidation. It is as if I am navigating a minefield and it will all blow up in my face if I wasn't careful. It is not that I am afraid I may not know the answer or lose a debate to a non-philosophy graduate. Why should I? I have only taken three modules so far. This sense of apprehension is the kind one feels that one should avoid the other person because he is just looking for a brawl. Yes, I've said it, some people who ask such questions are looking for an intellectual tavern brawl.

These brawlers come in many forms and intensity. There are those that just take pleasure in questioning you in the hopes that you will falter and there are others who just want to beat you in an argument. Do not get me wrong, as a philosophy student, I do appreciate the rigours of questioning one's own beliefs or the process one has constructed in order to adopt these beliefs. What I am against is the intent and perhaps the manner in which one poses the questions. There is certainly a difference between sincere questions and ones that are cloaked daggers used in the form of an interrogation. At this juncture, it is important to think about what is meant by, as I put it, 'sincere questions.'

To my mind, there are two forms of questioning that one employs without malice in daily life. One questions either to consult (as in a student asking a teacher) or to explore possibilities. The former is straightforward enough, one is not in the know and would like to find out new information. The latter happens in two ways: Firstly, you may want to ensure that the other party's point of view is founded on strong reasons (similar to what Socrates does). Secondly, questioning the other party helps to explore all possibilities of a particular matter which will hopefully help strengthen your own views or cause you to reformulate them.

But how is the second form of questioning any different from what the brawlers do? The main difference as mentioned before, lies in the intent. These intellectual brutes are merely looking to win an argument and are not concerned with the furtherance of knowledge or even taking what others say as an opportunity to reflect on the validity of their own views. These people often engage in foot stomping when it comes to difficult issues and how you define the boundaries matter. They will just declare the definitions of the other party invalid and will not accept that there are some issues that cannot be solved for the time being.

Having established all that, how do we proceed from here? I guess the most important thing for the brawlers to do is to sober up from their illusions of grandeur and note that the person you are talking to is a human being and not your punching bag. Basic civilities apply. Also, while we philosophy students adore its rigours, we do need to tune out once in a while. So if you just met us at a social gathering and would like to discuss philosophical issues, do not put us in the witness stand but ease us into it. A couple of drinks (non-alcoholic for me please) would certainly help.

Updates and Bukit Brown

The summer break is finally here! I apologise for not updating my blog throughout the second semester as I was drowning in my readings and other prosaic matters. I am sure I would be able to update this blog more often before the whole drudgery of school starts again.

It is a surreal experience to realise that I have just completed my first year of college. And while I may have given you readers the impression that I dread school completely, I do exaggerate. The workload may be overwhelming at times but I cherish the intellectual challenge. I do hope that my results for the semester that has just passed would not be too bad as I felt that there were a couple of papers that was rather difficult.

So what do I have to look forward to during this break? For starters, I have started flamenco classes; something which I have wanted to learn since I was a kid. The rhythms are slightly more complex that I am used to but it is indeed a welcomed change from my relatively sedentry lifestyle (hopefully I could lose a few pounds from all that dancing too). As to how the interest in this dance form started, I shall reserve it for another post. I am also resuming my Latin lessons; the language that everyone feels that it is dead or that it sounds nice regardless of how sordid the subject matter. Besides acquiring new hobbies and resuming others, I am glad that I getting some income from teaching drama at a secondary school and I hope that the children would be excited to learn new stuff as I am in teaching them. It does look like my summer holiday is filled with a myriad of activities. Here's to wishing that it would be a good and fruitful one!

Before I end this post, I would like to mention that I recently attended a talk on The Material Culture of Bukit Brown and have written about it here. I do hope this article would give you a clearer picture of what we stand to lose if Bukit Brown were to be destroyed. I am grateful for the opportunity in which The Kent Ridge Common (KRC) has given me to write for them. As such, I shall shift the focus of this blog to cover more of my personal issues and musings while the serious writings will be posted onto KRC. Of course, I would put a link to all the articles I have written there on this blog so that you can read those too.

As such, I would like to say a very big thank you to the few of you who actually reads my blog.

我的父親母親, The Road Home

我的父親母親 is a heartwarming film that illuminates the pursuit of love and how it still resounds in one's heart after so many years. The audience are brought on this beautiful journey through the eyes of a son who returns home after the demise of his father, a respected village teacher, to handle the funeral arrangements.

As he tries to balance between his mother's seemingly stubborn request of a traditional procession to the limitations of reality, he relates the love story of his parents as we (the son and the audience) collectively discover the reason behind his mother's insistence that is borne out of an unwavering devotion for her husband. This motivated the son to fulfill his mother's wishes to conduct a tradition funeral against the odds.

The courtship all those years ago started when Luo Changyu comes from the city to teach the students in the village. On seeing him, Zhao Di, the belle of the village, becomes infatuated with him as he is taken aback by her beauty and kindness. This sparked off a blossoming romance that consists of exchanged glances and the silly things one would in the midst of being intoxicated by love.

Yet, the course of true love never did run smooth as they are separated due to the ambiguous political trouble that Luo has gotten into. But Zhao's devotion never wavered as she awaits his return at the expense of her health. Fortunately, true love did triumph in the end as they were reunited and never to be separated for forty years.

This film, anchored by the brilliant performances from Zhang Ziyi, Zhao Yulian (young and the elderly Zhao Di respectively) and Zheng Hao (Luo Changyu) as well as furnished  by Zhang Yimou's directorial vision, is certainly a masterpiece.

The innocence and chemistry between Zhang Ziyi and Zheng Hao certainly moved me as the flush of first love between their characters unfolded. The subtleties between the actors through each sideward glance and emerging smile communicated so much more than the usual melodramatic fare. Despite having little screen time,  the quiet strength exuded by Zhao Yulian in her devotion to provide a proper funeral for her husband and fulfill his last wish of rebuilding the school is a beautiful contrast to that of Zhang Ziyi's portrayal of innocent anticipation. The evolution of Zhao Di's devotion provided by the contrast in the portryal of the two actresses gives us a more realistic sense of the strength of her devotion in different times of her life.

Having said that, the direction of the film provided by Zhang Yimou is simply outstanding. His interesting choice of presenting the present day in monochromatic colours to enhance the bleak physical and internal landscape of winter and Zhao Di's mind respectively as opposed to the lush and vivid colours to paint the flush of love in Zhao's youth enhances the brilliance of the love story. The same could be said of the pace of the plot as there are extended scenes of nothingness in the present day as compared to the quick unfolding of the love story. While the scenes in which the young Zhao is waiting for Luo to return may be long, the emotional beats of anticipation, longing and hope somehow increases the pace of the scene emotionally in the midst of the stillness.

Another aspect of the film which must be credited to Zhang Yimou and Bao Shi (screenwriter of the film which is based on his novel, Remembrance) would be the use of silence in the film. The economical use of dialogue is meant to explain and accelerate the plot and nothing else but images of Zhao running clumsily in a state of pure happiness or close up shots of a bowl being mended act as symbols of love and understanding. This truly appeals to the raw emotions of the audience. While it is unknown to us if Zhang Yimou ever intended his film to reach beyond his Chinese audience, he has certainly woven a beautiful story poised for the international screens.

This cinematic work of poetry transcends all boundaries and I challenge anyone not to be touched by it.

Unwitting Archivers

In any landscape that has undergone rapid changes, there will come a time when there is an underlying need to capture moments in time as a means to chart out the evolution of the social and phyiscal landscapes of the past. Be it for the sake of nostalgia, safekeeping or academic reference, an archive is a valuable resource as the recent re-run of the documentary, 'Lost Images', on Okto has proven.

The documentary consists of footage taken by Dr. Ivan Polunin when he visited Malaya and later resided in Singapore during the 1950s-70s. Such footage were incredibly valuable in reflecting the lives of the people then as well as presenting the sights and sounds of certain aspects such as the orang laut community or the farming methods within the kampongs. These images would have otherwise been lost had it not been for Dr. Polunin who decided to record them now for his own remembrance and unexpectedly, for generations of Singaporeans.

Having enjoyed the film thoroughly, I realised that in 50 years time, we would not need to worry about finding archives that documents the major events of today but what about the sights and sound of everyday life? Who is the next Dr. Polunin among us not only in Singapore but everywhere else? I need not look any further than to switch on my computer and be bombarded by videos, sound bites and photos. So yes, the Facebookers, Twitterites and Youtubers will be the next Polunin! 

It is undeniable that the videos and photos on these social media platforms do not have the focus of capturing a slice of life as what Dr. Polunin has done. But it is interesting to note that Dr. Polunin took those footage for his own record but never did he expect that the rolls of film sitting in his house will become a precious resource in depicting Singapore's past. Similarly, it is the candid nature and rawness of the various photos and videos that will inform our future generations of the current sentiments and culture of our time. That is why the editors at Time magazine celebrated You in 2006 and I am sure they will do the same in 50 years time.  

So what are you waiting for? Start shooting!

An Odd Feeling

Imagine this:
It is the death anniversary of your loved one. You have invited family and friends over to catch up as well as to share stories of the loved one in the hopes of taking some time to remember what a great live he or she has led. However, when your friends and family arrive, they started partying as they put some loud music on, drank and danced the night away with a total disregard of the occasion.

How would you feel?

~ ~ ~ ~

That was the odd feeling I had the whole of yesterday, Good Friday. Everywhere I turn, I see people enjoying themselves and even the television programmes are showing cartoons or feel-good movies. I had this sinking feeling inside me as if the whole world does not give a hoot about what the significance of the day is. Granted that not everyone is a believer and that the public holiday has brought about an extended weekend which is definitely welcomed, I still could not shake off this odd feeling.

As I was pondering over the situation I was in, my thoughts immediately turned to the various discussions on religious harmony as well as the need to integrate foreigners into our society. If Singapore is trying very hard to truly integrate all the religions as well as foreigners, wouldn't it go a long way to inform the public about the significance of the holiday?

Perhaps Mediacorp could take a cue from BBC Knowledge in which they screened a documentary, "The House of Windsor: A Royal Dynasty", in the run-up to the royal wedding to inform their viewers of the long and rich history of the modern royal family. This not only drums up interest in the event but it puts the wedding in its historical and symbolic context. 

Personally, I am ashamed of the fact that I have gone through 20 over years of various festivals, religious and cultural, and till now have only a very superficial understanding of these festivals. While the significance of such festivals are taught in school, it is utter naivety if you expect anyone to remember or pay attention in that context. Instead, if a documentary is commissioned in which film makers are challenged to inform the public in a most interesting way, I am sure it would be more effective than any textbook or teacher can achieve.

Now, wouldn't that be a great way of marrying the need for widespread civics education as well as supporting the Arts?

A Renewal of Commitment

My Dearest Readers,

I know most of you have probably given up on checking on my blog regularly due to my lack of updates. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm caught up with various freelance projects and temporary jobs; most of which are writing jobs.

While these writing jobs do not pay very well, at least they still offer a couple of bucks now and again. But over time, I realised that I'm still a creature of freedom and would love to be able to express myself without much restrictions. Hence, this is a renewal of my commitment to you people that I will update more often.

Having said that, one must realise that I am still in need of an income and it is an unfortunate fact that sometimes financial necessities may overshadow interest and passion. Hence, I am appealing to you readers to look through some of the ads by Google that are now up on the blog and click it only if it appeals to you.

Also, it would be much appreciated if you could steer any like-minded friends to this blog if you think they might be interested in the content that is here. Your help will go a long way as if I can generate some money through my writing here, I will be able to turn down some projects and devote more time to this space.

Finally, I would like to announce a new series that will be launched on this blog entitled, 'Pieces of Memory'. It is a feature on anything that evokes a sense of nostalgia in us as it reminds us of our childhood or it might even be from the previous generation. So watch this space!

Pace

Here's a piece I wrote a while back. I found it while clearing up some old stuff. Enjoy!
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Andante, in music, refers to the speed of the piece to be set at a leisurely speed or a walking pace. However, if we were to play that piece set to a "walking pace" by today's standard, the piece will definitely be offensive for it will be too rushed. The breathless speed by which we are going in our everyday existence is certainly puzzling. Where are we rushing to?

This phenomenon cannot be further from the truth as evident from a recent shopping trip. I went window shopping with a friend and at one point, he asked me to cut through the throngs of people. I was utterly puzzled by his impatience for we were not in a rush nor do we have anything in particular to shop for. I asked him if he was rushing to get something and he remarked that everyone was walking too slowly and that we needed to walk at a proper pace. What is this "proper pace" and why is it that fast?

To me, we are rushing headlong into madness. It is as if we were trying to retain the sand of the hourglass as much as possible but we are found helpless as we see it slip through our fingers. Our preoccupation with efficiency and productivity has consumed us so much that it eats into our leisure hours instead of it being confined to the workplace. This is due to the fact that we anchor the stability of our lives to all things material; money buys us comfort and stability. This sets us up to acquire "enough" money to secure our future. But how much is indeed enough?

Have we forgotten that our emotional and spiritual well-being is the only key to our happiness? Our quest for comfort and luxury is to pander to our own happiness. It also panders to our pride in the ability to enjoy a sense of achievement. The reason that we may have such a preoccupation could be due to the fact that material gains has an immediate and readily available effect of comfort. Thus, we happily delude ourselves and go for short-term fulfillment.

However, our spiritual and emotional well being lies in the relationships we have with others, self, God and our personal beliefs. Ironically, these are things that are truly tangible for it lasts and determines our present and future. This is definitely different from the wealth and pride that we pursue which do not last.

Therefore, my gentle readers, the next time we find ourselves flustered and rushing for no rhyme or reason, I urge you to think of what andante means, take a deep breath, smile and travel life's journey in a walking pace. For those who are not familiar with andante, indulge in one of Mozart's famous work below!

Job Search Dilemma

A rite of passage that most of us go through is to find a job to earn some extra cash or to bring the dough home. Yet, in the process of finding a job, one is sometimes torn between finding something of interest or one that pays well. This is especially true for students with minimal working experience who are finding jobs during the vacation period. This means that one would either be an intern in a company according to one’s interest or be in charge of menial tasks.

As such, I am no exception to the scheme of things as I recently endured the process of combing through newspapers, asking for recommendations and looking through online job advertisements. Being utterly torn up myself, I decided to look at what my peers have chosen. Understandably, most of them subscribed to the pragmatic route and just accept whatever decent offer that they could get.

While it is a noble enterprise to earn one’s keep and accepting what life offers, there is a deep-seated sense of uneasiness within me as I could not bring myself to do that. To me, it is not just a choice between two logical and commendable paths but one that reflects the outlook to one’s life: Do you choose to accept whatever life throws at you or do you fight for what you desire as long as there is a chance? How many times are we going to opt for a “safe” option and never find out what would happen if you took a chance?

Such questions plagued me endlessly and I decided to take the road less travelled and find a job that caters to my interest. This decision is made not out of rebellion but on the premise that I have no financial obligations except to myself and I am not limited by anything except by my resume and experiences. Therefore, why would I not want to take life by its horns and seek valuable experiences that are in line with my interests? This is especially so in view of the scarcity of such chances once responsibilities to family, friends and career set in.

On the surface, it may seem absurd to extrapolate the issue of work to life’s philosophy but every choice we make will contribute one way or another to who we will eventually be. In this vein, the choices I make now is a stepping stone to carve out a life that I would want for myself in the future. Come what may, I will be proud of my decisions even if my choices meant that I would fail miserably.

Having said that, one should realise that everyone is unique and different. Hence, my choices and outlook is never superior to another but it is best suited to my situation as I have mentioned. By extension, I am not saying that my friends have made a wrong choice but I am espousing the idea of making choices based on what one truly wants. If it means that one is only interested in the monetary value of the job, then go for it.

At the end of the day, life is all about choices and one should not be hampered by the “what ifs” but be encouraged by it to gain a broader experience. In the words of entrepreneur and maverick, Richard Branson, ‘Brave people don’t live forever, but cautious people don’t live at all.’ In case there are people who are interested in knowing what I have settled for, I have filed several applications but to no avail due to various reasons. But I am still trying, still fighting and still living.

Looking Ahead to 2011

As the day slowly winds down and it is slightly over an hour before 2011, I'd thought I look ahead and share some of my hopes for the new year.

2011 will definitely be a year of excitement as I will gain new experiences. The two main things to look forward to would be working for the first time as well as entering university.

With regards to the job prospect, I will most probably be a relief teacher. I am equally excited, anxious as well as apprehensive because it is indeed a very important responsibility; one that may decide what the kids will do in future. I personally do not believe that the end result of one's education is only decided by oneself. That is because as a student, I have been influenced, shaped and moulded by many teachers who have illuminated my life in ways that extend beyond the classroom. And if one were to truly believe that one could learn by oneself, it is interesting to note that these adults do not home school their children and let them take national examinations as private candidates.

On top of that, I am fortunate to blessed with a side job of being an assistant instructor to a brass band. It is a scary experience because I do not know very much about brass instruments. Yet, as this job requires teaching and making music, what better that to bestow upon these children the gift of music? While my musical experience extends to a meagre eight years, I do hope that what little I could teach would allow these children an alternative outlet of expression that transcends any language, cultural and chronological barriers. As music has inspired me, I hope I would be a bridge for these children to cross which will allow them to be inspired in profound ways.

As for entering university, it is definitely an exciting prospect because it would be the final culmination of the many years of my education. The possibilities are boundless and I still have not a smidgen of an idea as to my major. But I am definitely looking to do a double major for I love too many subjects offered to choose just one. Nonetheless, it would definitely be a exciting trip.

On a personal note, 2011 would mean the year that I would turn 21 - a year that is considered to be the start of an adult life or as one friend puts it, "you're definitely going to prison and  get caned for whatever wrong you've done once you're 21... No way around it." It would be a year to explore maturity and what it means to be a man in this modern age. Something that interests and excites me at the same time. As for my aspirations in relation to my coming of age, I truly hope to be as all rounded as possible especially in the intellectual arena. Also, with regards to my physical condition, I definitely look forward to improving it and am sure the myriad of activities that university has to offer will hopefully aid me in that.

So here's to a wonderful and blessed 2011!!